A Father's Only Regret

Gathering Toddy

The Importance of Fathers

A recent article in the Deseret News on the challenges boys are no facing in society entitled: "The war on boys: Young men are losing ground in education, emotional health and jobs" reminded me of a life changing experience I had about 40 years ago.  At the time I was coaching high school football at Weber High School and later at North Sanpete High School.  My former football coach at Snow College, Robert Stoddard invited me and a few other high school coaches be part of the coaching staff at his annual football camps.

Each year a high profile coach or player were invited to participate at the camp to serve as a major drawing card to encourage high school athletes to enroll in the camp. One of the high profile coaches was a very successful head coach from the National Football League (NFL).  He had also been highly successful as a local college coach.  In addition, he was a much sought after trainer for businesses and corporations; teaching Dale Carnagies, "Positive Thinking and Goal Setting" workshops.  He was paid thousands of dollars to conduct these workshop.  His ability to inspire and motivate others was extraordinary.

When greeting us each day, he would often repeat: "Today in every way I am going to get a little bit better".  One of the motivational stories he used was of Floyd Little, the NFL Hall of Fame running back, who played for the Denver Broncos.  Each time the play called for him to carry the football, he would repeat to himself, "This is the last time I will ever carry the ball, how do I want to be remembered".  This strategy was the way he prepared mentally to give 100 percent effort each time he carried the ball.

At the football camp all the coaches stayed in the same Snow College dormitory.  The visiting NFL coach told us he normally only need a few hours sleep, so for five straight days he would talk with us for hours, teaching us how to be better coaches and more successful in coaching and our professional careers.  Many of the stories and teaching techniques he used in corporate training were shared with us during these informal sessions.

Nearly every goal he set as a young man and in his coaching career had been achieved.  During one of the sessions as he talked with us during the wee hours of the morning, almost as an after thought and with some sorrow in his voice - he quietly reflected:

"I only have one regret, my children have grown up and I don't know them".  This statement had a very powerful impact on my life.  By every standard and measure of the world, in sports and corporate America, he was be considered highly successful.  But in the one area, which is of most importance, he had failed - that of being a successful father. 

I reflected on the word of President McKay, "No success can compensate for failure in the home".  As a result, I recommitted my self to spend more quality time with our children. Though not perfect, I have sincerely tried.  In fairness to the former coach, he said even though his children were now in their 20's, he was trying to spend more time with each one to develop a meaningful father-son and father-daughter relationship.

Now back to the Salt Lake City newspaper article, it discussed how men are essential to the healthy development of boys.  Forty percent of the births in the United States are out of wedlock.   Currently, 'one of every three' homes are without fathers and there are also fewer male role models for boys in the schools.  A father's absence greatly increases odds of boys being involved in criminal activity, drug abuse, and belonging to gangs. 

Boys with fathers in the home starting school are six months ahead in personal and social development than those without fathers in the home.  Time with dad is the primary factor in children developing empathy as adults.  The involvement of a father significantly reduces the number of boys that will need ADHD medication and professional help for behavioral and emotional problems, including depression. A father's presence significantly improves a boy's school performance.

Kiribati father teaching son a traditional dance

The article goes on to say dad's tend to encourage children to solve problems on their own, which increases a child's ability to focus, be attentive, and achieve goals.  It also helps with impulse control and memory and both boys and girls ability to effectively respond to new and ambiguous situations.

Fishing with a son is a great way to build positive relationships and great memories

The First Presidencies release of "A Family Proclamation to the World" http://www.lds.org/family/proclamation?lang=eng was an inspired response to this crisis.  President Gordon B. Hinckley was very direct in speaking to young men about the critical need to go and missions, attend post secondary schooling, and to not delay getting married and starting families.

How about a little B-Ball

Homes and Huts in Kiribati

Traditional I-Kiribati Homes and Huts

The photos that follow are a few examples of some of the traditional huts and homes.  Some  are just pieced together using corrugated metal roofing for walls or what ever is available.  Others are made of cinderblock or cement blocks, several families have chose to build western ranch style homes.

Framework for a Traditional home

Note how the Y shaped wooden support posts use to hold the horizontal poles in place

The roof trusses (diagonal are lashed together  to the horizontal limbs - using coconut string to lash the structure together.  The horizontal cross beams are also lashed in place to provide additional strength to the roof structure.  The poles will be trimmed (sawed off) before attaching the thatched roof on to the frame

The posts are made from wood from the trunk of coconut and pandanus trees and then lashed together with string made from the fibers of coconut husks.  The wall is made from the mid-ribs of coconut branches.  A home may have many windows but no glass in them but instead curtains woven from coconut leaves.  The blinds are used when it is rainy, very sunny, or windy.  The thatch on the roof is made from pandanus leaves.  Coral rocks are used for the floor and then covered with large mats woven from coconut and pandanus trees.


There are a variety of traditional homes some with two stories, raised floors, and no walls at all.  

Furniture, like chairs, tables or beds is rarely used by the I-Kiribati.  They sleep on the floor on mats woven from pandanus leaves.  They use kerosene lamps.  Some houses have concrete block walls with metal roofs.  There are rain gutters to collect drinking water when it rains.  But most of the time they use shallow wells to obtain water.

Cooking on a grill using copra (which is similar to charcoal briquettes are made from dried and crushed coconut shells

Note the hut in the background uses Coral rocks to support the horizontal beams

It has floor about 2 feet off the ground made by using small branches lashed together over support logs.  These huts are comfortable for sleeping with the breeze blowing above and below you

Manse hut

It often takes up to 150 pandanus branches to cover a roof

Comfortable home with a small patio

Often homes are built in clusters of three - one for general living, one for cooking, and one for storage.

A few traditional homes with one under construction in top left
(note how the thatch mats are beginning to be placed on the roof structure)

Small village with part of  a maneaba shown on the right side of photo

Village Maneaba at a resort site we visited in Bikeman Island (see post in December)

House on stilts

Several types of huts house used by an extended family 

Christmas Island - Thatched roof - pandanus mats also cover the lower walls for privacy

Traditional village

Most villages range in size from 10 to 120 dwelllings

Many huts are pieced together with what ever is available
such as corrugated steel that would normally be on a roof

Coconut or pandanus leaves are braided around mid-ribs to provide privacy

Most I-Kiribati don't worry much about privacy, they would rather have the breeze flow in the homes.This particular fence is at the Tiwanese' aquarium where they grow milk fish to feed the pigs and chickens

Influence of a Teacher

This week we had the opportunity to witness first hand the impact a teacher from 35 years ago has on the lives of former students.  Brother Les and Sister Linda Campbell taught at Liahona High School in 1978 and returned this past week to see many of the Kiribati students they had befriended while in Tonga.  It was truly a glorious reunion between a teacher and his former students.  The following is an article I submitted for the ITEP newsletter coming out later this month.

The Influence of a Teacher Lives Long after the Career has ended

In 1978- The Les and Linda Campbell Family taught at Liahona H.S. in Tonga

No one decides to become a teacher because of the paycheck.  Teachers sometimes may wonder, is it really worth it?  Particularly, when faced with stacks of ungraded papers and by ungrateful or disruptive students.

Henry Brooks Adams once said, “A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops.” 

We were recently able to witness the influence a teacher 35 years earlier is still having on the lives of his former students.  Brother and Sister Les and Linda Campbell from Orem, Utah taught geography and seminary at Liahona High School in 1978. 


Attending Liahona was a major culture shock for the students from the Gilbert Islands. Learning a new language, a new culture, and a new religion, having a more rigorous curriculum and seeing the clean campus with excellent facilities and school supplies was a major adjustment for the students. Brother and Sister Campbell and other teachers would often invite students to their homes after school and on weekends, where they were fellowshipped and taught basic gospel principles. 

Twelve students from the Gilbert Islands were the first to be admitted to Liahona High in 1973.  All 12 students joined the Church.  Six of these students returned in 1975 as the first missionaries in Kiribati.  From this humble beginning 37 years ago, there are now approximately 14,000 members of the church in Kiribati (one in every eight I-Kiribati are now LDS).  Teachers and staff at Liahona taught the gospel and demonstrated unselfish love to many foreign students at school and in their homes.

Brother and Sister Campbell became very close to many Gilbertese (I-Kiribati) students and have maintained contact with many of them through the years.  In February 2012, thirty-five years after leaving Liahona, Brother and Sister Campbell returned to Kiribati and met with many of their former students.  It was a marvelous reunion; the love shown between teacher and former students was truly an inspirational to witness. 

Brother Campbell taught seminary in Utah County for nearly 40 years, so when they came to Kiribati for a one-week visit in February, they were immediately put to work.  Bro Campbell helped train seminary and institute teachers at the pre-service workshop.  Brother and Sister Campbell spoke at a youth fireside to an overflow audience. He spoke at a devotional for all teachers and service center employees and they also spoke to the Moroni High student body at the opening assembly.  Plus there were many one-on-one teaching moments during their stay.  Many of the Kiribati students they befriended are now teachers, church and community leaders in Kiribati such as Stake President Iotua Tune.  


The last day they were here, former students hosted a celebration for Brother and Sister Campbell, where food and entertainment was in abundance.  Many tears of gratitude were shed and the love between teachers and students was expressed in abundance.  Though Brother and Sister Campbell were only in Liahona for one year due to the illness and passing of their beloved daughter Holly, their impact on the lives of many students is still very evident. 

Great teachers live on long after their careers, or even their lives, are over.  A teachers influence cannot be measured by years served or comments on graded papers.  Rather, it is measured in the hearts of their students.  May we all strive to teach with the Spirit, for that is how hearts are truly touched and lives influenced and changed for the better.

Many of the same I-Kiiribati students (in the photo above)
who went to LIahona High School are shown singing and expressing love 
to their teachers - Brother and Sister Campbell - 35 years later in Kiribati

New School Year

School Starts Again - February 8th

School is about ready to start for the 2012 school year.  Sister Thorne and I helped last week with some inservice training.  She shared some interesting insights on how to use posters stating basic truths about the learner to build their academic self confidence.  Despite her nervousness and hours of preparation it went very well and was well received by the teachers.  

Sister Thorne explaining each poster to the Moroni Teachers

I spoke on improving professionalism and classroom teaching.  It is fun to be able to use the scriptures in preservice training.  The Computer/ Technology Instructional Technology class is winding down.  We taught teachers how to embed videos and pictures into power points, blogs, and wiki pages.  We helped them develop a teaching blog and how to edit a wiki page.  The wiki site we used was the kiribati-lds-pioneer wiki, each participant entered their personal history under one or more headings.  It provides some interesting history and insights into many of the teachers early beginnings and the road to teaching at Moroni High.


Sister Thorne has been busy giving the English proficiency exam to several recently returned missionaries and helping them complete their application to BYU Hawaii.  The deadline for Spring semester is January 31st so many have been scrambling trying to get everything finished.  I have been creating a new wiki site, where all the ITEP classes can be posted.  It will include a syllabus for the each class, assignments, readings, videos, and links to other important information. Hopefully it will help future ITEP couples not have to reinvent the wheel each time they begin a new course.  Hopefully, we can also start sharing information with other ITEP couples in Fiji, Samoa, and Tonga.  The site lists all the required ITEP courses in the Table of Contents, so class participants can find all the information they will need at one on-line site.


A new ITEP college class will begin the week after school starts SPED 200.  The focus of the class is on serving students with disabilities and special needs.  It will be a challenge, because there is no special education in any of the public or private schools in Kiribati.  The only school that serves students with disabilities was started in 1991 by the Red Cross and is now operated by the Australian Government.  About 100 students are served at the school.  One of our focuses in the class will be to raise awareness of the need to educate all I-Kiribati children regardless of physical or learning challenges and limitations.


Lots of students and parents are on campus each day trying to register for the new school year.  It is nice to have the students back on campus.  Our ward's Sunday attendance drops down to the size of a branch during the school break and many of the classes have to be combined.  The flight from the Marshall Islands didn't make it again last week, but we did get some Christmas cards a few weeks ago from Ward members.  We have several cases of dictionaries from the Rotary Club that are still stranded in Majuro along with Christmas packages and who knows what else.  There are four new missionaries stranded here for the past few weeks trying to get to their new area in the Marshall Islands.


Last Sunday we spoke in Sacrament meeting, so it has been a very busy couple of weeks and will continue for some time.  We also alternate teaching the 'Gospel Doctrine class, which is enjoyable but also takes a lot of time to prepare.  The Moroni Ward is mainly composed of high school students with about 12 families assigned to the Ward to help teach and administer the Ward.  The Bishop and 2nd Counselor work for the Church at Moroni and the 1st Counselor owns a technology business.  He was recently elected to the Kiribati Parliament and was appointed to the Presidents Cabinet as Minister of Trade.  The Minister of Education is also LDS and President Tune was appointed to a three person advisory council (the first LDS to serve in what is a very prestigious position).  The LDS Church is now the third largest religion in Kiribati and members are having a positive impact in education, business and government.


News from Home


New from the home front Shannon was very excited when we called her.  Her drill team took first in Region competition and she took 2nd place in the drill down.  All this happened on her birthday, she said it was the best birthday ever.  We called Drew and Luke on their birthday, it was fun but 5 year olds have a short attention span.  Jenna turned 8 and was baptized in January, so it was fun to SKYPE and get the latest from home.

Shannon with the Region  Championship trophy and her Drill Down medal

Drew posing in one of his costumes 

Jenna with her Birthday Cake

We are still waiting for photos of Jenna's baptism and birthday pictures from Drew and Luke.  It did rain nearly every day last week, which was good it was beginning to get very dry.  JJ sent us a picture of him and his mom and the snowman they built.  We asked Jorja if she had built a snowman but apparently she is into snow angels instead.  In Kiribati it takes a highly trained expert to tell Summer from Winter.

Most of the people in Kiribati have never seen snow- other than in pictures

Life is good under the Coconut and Palm trees!  We hope it is the same for each of you.