Mothers Day/ Marriage Retreat - Day 1

This is the first of two posts for this week on the marriage retreat with the staff of Moroni High School.  All the information would not fit into one post.  School was out all week for the semester break.  With Mothers Day on Sunday and the missionaries coming to our apartment to SKYPE home and Tuesday and Wednesday was the Marriage Retreat, it was a fun and very worthwhile week for Sister Thorne and I.  It was followed up by the arrival of Elder Val and Sister Judy Bush from Sugar City, Idaho on Thursday and  President and Sister Shaw are also here for a few days.  Life is good under the coconut trees.   

Mothers Day

Sunday May 13th is Mothers Day in Kiribati as well as in the USA.  One of the things that makes it special in the mission field is that the young Elders and Sisters get to call home twice a year, Christmas and on Mothers Day.  We had four Elders and four Sisters make SKYPE calls from our apartment, beginning at 10 am until 6 pm.  It is always a fun day when they get to call home, you can feel the love and joy in the hearts and faces of the missionaries.  That feeling of love and warmth remains in our home after they leave.

Sister Thorne prepared a lunch for them and we bought a large chocolate bar for the Sister Missionaries (future mothers).  Chocolate is scarce so they cherish it.  I looked around for a present for Janis, the best I could do was a small locally woven rug.  I told her it is a prayer rug to keep her knees off the cold hard floor.

The first two Elders (Packer and Armstrong) had to go to another couples home because our internet was so slow.  Fortunately the speed increased so Elders Bush and Norton could SKYPE home.  Then the four Sisters came Sister Barlow from Logan, Sister Gardner from Las Vegas, and Sister Kimmons from a small community near Houston, Texas.  Sister Tenoa is from Kiribati so she went to the Service Center to use a telephone to call her family.

For a Mothers Day Present, I taught the Gospel Doctrine lesson for Janis.  I went to the other Ward's Sacrament meeting, it was in Kiribati so I didn't learn much from the two High Council speakers.  The meeting ended early so the counselor called all the men in the congregation to come to the stand to sing a mothers day song.  He called on one of the brethren to lead the music.  I was expecting some hymn about mothers, but instead they sang "Redeemer of Israel", which is probably appropriate because mothers will play a big part in preparing families for our Redeemer.

Husband and Wife Retreat - Day 1

A lot of advanced work went into preparing a nice setting to hold the workshop.  It was a first class retreat and it all came together very well.  Principal Lita and her leadership team always do a first rate job.

Janis and I were asked to make a presentation at Moroni High Schools husband and wife retreat. Out topic was how to strengthen our love for each other.  

 

Plimsoll Mark

One of the stories I told at the retreat was about Samuel Plinsoll who was born in England in 1824.  As a boy he would sit on the docks and watch cargo ships being loaded.  He learned some of the unscrupulous owners would use un-seaworthy vessels (referred to as "coffin ships"), and would load them far beyond safe weight limits.  The owners would take out large insurance policies on the cargo - so regardless if the ship sank or reached its port - they would make a large profit.  Some owners had little concern for the safety and lives of the ships crew.  

Years later Plinsoll was elected to Parliament and sponsored and passed the "Merchant Shipping Act" which limited the loading of ships to a safe limit.  It required that a line be painted on the side of all British merchant vessels to show the maximum depth to which a ship could be safely loaded.  This line became known as the "Plimsoll mark" or "Plimsoll line".  As a ship was loaded and began submergence - when the Plinsoll mark on the ship reached the water line (or maximum depth), the loading of the ship had to immediately cease, even if there was still cargo space available.  

The point of the story is that each of us have our own Plimsoll line, where our spiritual and emotional health may be in jeopardy if we keep taking on additional activities or responsibilities without getting rid of some others we already have.  As our spouses take on more weight (responsibilities) at home, church, family, and other places - they may go well below their Plimsoll mark and need to be relieved of some responsibilities.  It is a spouses responsibility to help alleviate some of these burdens.   

Janis had gone well below her "Plinsoll Mark", so after thoughtful discussion and prayer, she knew it was time to give up teaching Institute.  The amount of time spent in preparation and teaching had become too time consuming.  It about broke her heart to give up the classes, but to keep up with her missionary responsibilities, it became necessary for her meet with Lita and request not teach the institute courses during the second semester.  Lita was able to cover the courses with the current faculty.

We showed this video as part of the presentation, it is one of our favorite songs by Michael McLean

We spoke about several other things about couples building and strengthening their love for each other.   As usual Sister Thorne spent many hours preparing for the one-hour presentation.  I provided some input during the planning stage.  Then we took turns discussing five areas about nurturing our love toward our spouse: Spirituality, Prayer, Love/Friendship, Appreciation/Gratitude, and Communication.  

In our marriage, I try to follow the advice of Albert Einstein, who when asked on their 50th wedding anniversary, to what he attributed the success of their long marriage.  His reply: "When we first got married we decided I would make all the big decisions and my wife would make the small ones.  We have followed that decision for 50 years and still do".  He then said, "now that I think about it, so far there have not been any big decisions for me to make."

Presenting to the Moroni High Teachers on "How to strengthen your love for each other"

There were around 40 couples in attendance also some who were single or widowed.  As usual Lita and her leadership team had all the tables decorated with name plates and other information in a half coconut shell.

One of Sister Thorne's activities was to have the wives write a two-line love note that rhymes.  This one written on the response board was nice even if it didn't rhyme

The husbands were supposed to write five recreational activities they enjoy doing, the wife then circled two she could join her husband in doing.  This response brings a new meaning to recreational activities.

When ever there is a meeting there is lots of food.  This one included many varieties of potatoes: boiled, french fries, potato salad,  also fried chicken and pork (the whole pig snout - tail and all.  Plus Rice, boiled eggs, raw and cooked fish, potato chips, Frito's, and many local fruits and other dishes.  
Some of the ham(s) were not in serving bowls

Some of the teachers and S&I employees enjoying lunch and posing for the camera

After lunch this was all that was left of the pig (skin, bones and the snout), I assume the tail is also somewhere in the pan.  The I-Kiribati love to eat at events and they to go back for seconds and thirds until all the food is gone.

The I-Kiribati have beautiful white teeth to go along with their smiles

Mary (the school counselor) making her presentation

A few of the couples had a bit of dramatic flair when telling a story.  It was in the Kiribati language, so we didn't understand what was being said but from the laughter it must have been good.

Rusila the Vice Principal also made a presentation on Marriage

 Lita leading a group activity putting a jigsaw puzzle together
  

Couples trying to put jig saw puzzle together was one of Lita's activities
The yellow or green side had all kinds of negative words running all different directions

A few turned the puzzle pieces over and found it was a picture of Christ, which made it very simple to put together.  The message when we focus on the Savior instead of worldly things - 
our marriage will be more successful and fulfilling

The second morning of the retreat started with a spectacular sunrise.  We were all up at 6:00 am eager and ready to catch the boat to the island retreat.  The only problem was the boat didn't show up until 7:30

This is the boat we rode to the island retreat, we wade through water up to nearly our waist to get to the boat.   After boarding, we all sat on the deck.  We had about 40 people travel on the boat to Biketawa Island and about 55 people on the boat on its return trip after the retreat ended.  Lita and her leadership team took the church boat to the island on Tuesday and stayed over night so they had breakfast and everything ready when the rest of us arrived on Wednesday 

Our destination was Biketawa Atoll, a small resort island.  It is the same atoll we went to last fall with the Moroni High faculty.  This time we didn't stay overnight but we certainly enjoyed the beauty and solitude of the island.

We left Eita and took a boat to Biketawa, which was about a 45 minute trip each way.   It is a beautiful privately owned island that is peaceful and quiet.  It has some structures, all traditionally built.  An unscrupulous trader talked a high village chief into trading the island to him for a gun. 

The training the second day took place in this maneaba, mats were lad on the coral rocks as people sat cross legged for the training. They insisted Sister Thorne and I sit on chairs, we are always asked to be first in line when ever meals are served even during breaks.

Lita, Rusila and the rest of her leadership team led activities the second day.  We first were asked as couples to go to a secluded spot and discuss some things we could do as couples to strengthen our marriage and commitment to each other.

Husbands and wives sat back to back and answered questions about each other such as what is your favorite color of your spouse.  It was a version of the Honeymoon game.  They had lots of fun hearing what one spouse thought versus what the other spouse told as the correct answer.  Again it was in Kiribati language so we didn't understand but judging from the laughter everyone seemed enjoyed the responses

All the couples gathered in the maneaba to be taught by Lita

Lita leading a marriage discussion (again it was in Kiribati) so we didn't understand much of what was being taught but enjoyed watching the couples reactions

During some of the free time Sister Thorne loves to gather seashells by the seashore.  We were on the bay side so there wasn't the variety that there is on the ocean side.  Mary and Lita also found several shells for her.

 Some of the interesting structures on the island are shown below

Shade to eat your lunch, with a small table and tree stumps to sit on

 Small traditionally built maneaba to sleep or to get out of the sun

Sleeping hut that provides some privacy are found on the resort island

 

Neighboring island is a short distance across the bay.  The island where we stayed was purchased by a rather unscrupulous trader.  He met with a high chief who owned the island and traded the island for a gun that the chief wanted.

Returning back to Moroni High campus.  The boat was loaded and no one fell over board (thank goodness).  Sister Thorne and I were the only ones who wore life jackets.  The Church boat brought many of the other supplies and some of the other couples back but lit at a different dock.  We had to wade to load the boat and wade to get to shore on our return trip and also at the island

It was an enjoyable two days, the spouses had lots of fun and there was some good ideas on how to strengthen marriages.  It is Lita philosophy that if things are going well and teachers are happy at home they will be more effective as teachers in loving and helping their students.  A lot of time and effort went into the retreat but it was well worth it.